The Stories Not Told

Elizabeth Young rsm, 19 December 2024

Since 2021, when I started this blog, I have been privileged to share deep conversations with people who have been drawn to the ministry of the diaconate. However, a number have been very clearly “not for the blog”. There have been various reasons, but some common ones are:

• The feeling of call is embryonic, interior or fragile. It can be a long, unique, personal and spiritual journey. There is a fear of being exposed to the world.
• Naming the diaconate seems like an impossibility in the Church at this time. Some women did not imagine such a call for a long time or felt that such a call would be wrong. There is a fear of seeming heretical.
• The person is employed in a ministerial position, such as a Chaplain or Pastoral Associate. Speaking of women deacons feels dangerous, as it is a vocation that has not been disallowed, but also not approved. There is a fear of damage to the organsation’s reputation or losing one’s employment.  
• The person does not want to name individual priests, bishops, parishes or workplaces that have either asked them to go beyond the usual ministries available to women, or who have not recognised their ministerial potential. There is a fear of exposing others who have been part of one’s story.   
• The thought of the ordained diaconate appears to some people like ambition or a quest for hierarchical power, rather than the vocational call to ministry they feel. There is a fear of being accused of careerism.
• Alongside this is concern for those who are receiving ecclesial ministry. Some people do not want to focus on themselves, their vocation or liturgical/sacramental privations, but on other urgent needs around them. There is a fear of distracting attention from the great challenges of justice, peace and ecology.
• The model of the diaconate that some people have experienced (this applies to conversations with men as well) does not inspire them. Some people are looking for a service-oriented ministry of outreach that is not too closely tied with glorified positions or only liturgical roles. There is a fear of a diaconate that does not transform clericalism.  
• Women have felt called to the diaconate, or practised very diaconal ministry, but they are now beyond the age of entry to such a vocation. There is a fear of appearing bitter.

So there are a lot of understandable reasons for not sharing one’s story in public, quite apart from the general hesitancy of most people to name deep spiritual urges out loud. These fears are real, and it is why many of our blog stories have focused on women who have done diaconal-type ministries in the past, or men who are currently ordained. Some women who are doing diaconal-type ministries have been happier to share because they don’t feel called to the lifelong ordained ministry of the diaconate, unlike those who do feel this call.

Several times I have heard that women were asked or considered leaving the Catholic Church for another Christian denomination, where their ministry might be welcomed. Others ended up in such diaconal-type roles because of the negative actions of others who were meant to be completing such ministry, and they had to pick up the pieces. Some women had excellent leadership skills from such arenas as Catholic education, and were the obvious choices for leadership within the diocese or parish. Some were accepted and quietly took on the roles without recognition, and others experienced a lot of negativity from men and women who did not believe that women should have such roles, even though they were authorised within the bounds of canon law. Some tried to speak about the history of women deacons in public fora – in both Eastern and Roman Catholic traditions – and were shut down.

Nevertheless, there have been some wonderful aspects to these untold stories. For example, women have shared about the feeling of call being uncovered through spiritual direction. Women and men who are drawn to the diaconate have found meaning in parish, prison, military, school and hospital roles, as chaplains or variously-named lay ecclesial ministers. They see the potential of diaconal ministry for healing – for those who have been hurt by people in the Church, for women who have experienced violence, for those on the margins in many ways. Healing is also applied to themselves – despite the difficulties, ministry to people hungering for God’s love and the gospel of Jesus has given them life and allowed their gifts to align with the needs of the world. And they have spoken to me about the potential of the diaconate to help heal our wounded Church. The deacon is clearly called to build bridges, so surely here is an opportunity to be intentional about proclaiming the Prince of Peace in our world today. 

Prayer Network