Reaching out, the way of Jesus

Paul Harris, 16 November 2023

Those who identify as LGBTQIA+ are some of the people on the margins addressed at the recent session of the Synod in Rome. The Instrumentum Laboris asks, “…what concrete steps are needed to welcome those who feel excluded from the Church because of their status or sexuality (for example, remarried divorcees, people in polygamous marriages, LGBTQ+ people, etc.)?” B1.2.6

Paul Harris is someone who is already living into the answer, both receiving and giving welcome and ministry. He has gone on a long journey of his own, and now helps others with their process of faith and life. Paul grew up in a religiously Catholic family, which “impacted who I was and how I saw myself.” Through his adolescence and early 20s, he really struggled to come to terms with his sexuality. At that time, gay bashings and murders were common in the news and Paul didn’t want to identify with a community that was so ridiculed and stereotyped. “It got to the point where I hated myself.” 

Finally, Paul felt he had to leave his work as a Catholic school teacher and find his true self. He started on a physical journey, travelling overseas, to the UK. Along the way, Paul was discovering that while he was not sexually attracted to women, he still had a very deep faith. He was trying to “reconcile understanding who I am, but not rejecting that faith and love of God that I learnt at my Catholic school, family, youth groups, and being involved in the church. I couldn’t see how a loving God could reject me.” In experiencing gay Catholic groups, Paul found hope. He said, “I discovered who I was, my truth, and that was OK.”

On return to Australia, Paul experienced a similar welcome in the Sydney group of Acceptance. Existing for over 50 years, they would gather for Mass in the Jesuit parish of Elizabeth Bay every Friday. As soon as he walked in, Paul felt at home – there were about 30-40 people, men and women, young and old. In a beautiful old church, there were “people exactly like me”. Paul found belonging, and freedom from the fear of judgement. The members of the group understood him from a deeper religious or spiritual sense and that gave him “so much joy.”

Since then, since Paul’s own experience of acceptance, he has gone on to minister to others. He knows that we are all baptised as priest, prophet and king, and now he is living out that baptismal call. Paul got involved on the Acceptance committee, and supported LGBT people and their families through listening, ministry and advocacy. Some people, he discovered, had not been to church for 20 years because they had been spiritually hurt, unloved and made to feel that they didn’t belong by Catholic leaders. But Paul chose to demonstrate instead the way of Jesus – reaching out to the marginalised and excluded and helping them to know “how much you are loved and how much God loves you.” 

Paul has taken this perspective to new situations and places in his life. After a long teaching career he went on to minister professionally in adult faith formation, as well as being involved in church locally (as an acolyte and member of parish councils) and more broadly (on a diocesan pastoral ministry group). Many times he has struggled with discrimination and trying to live authentically, or a feeling of pointlessness when gathering with small numbers. But he knows that Jesus foresaw suffering for his true witnesses. And when he has asked God why he continues, there has always been someone at that very time who needed help or a listening ear. 

When I ask Paul about the value of the liturgy, he tells me about the sad reality. Even going into a church is too traumatic for some people who have experienced exclusion. But for him, the Mass is a rich tradition, and connects Catholics around the world. “Liturgy is not a weapon; Communion is not a weapon to be used against people.” Rather, when clergy have been open and reached out to LGBTIQA+ people, “it is so powerful”. There have also been times when he has presided over Liturgy of the Word with Holy Communion in the absence of a priest. Paul again describes it as “very powerful” to be able to gather people who want to be there, proclaim the word, share some thoughts, pray the Our Father and provide people with the sacrament. Every time he gives out communion, Paul smiles at the person. He follows the rubrics as a presider, but recognises that “we all have the capacity to minister to each other.” For people who consider themselves on the margins of the Church, Paul’s gift is to walk the journey alongside them. What a great example of synodality in action!

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